Sand and water...

Spring is here, and that can mean only one thing: most of the searches that lead people to my blog are on the phrase "ripeness is all"--students, no doubt, trying to finish up that final paper or take-home exam.

There was a time when I felt I was on the path to that ripeness--that living fully in my own skin that defines me as the best I can be. Then suddenly this winter, almost three full years past my (eventually) terminal Stage IV breast cancer diagnosis, I became depressed and lost my sense that there's any meaning to this life, this world.

I'm still struggling.

I awaited the return of life in spring to get back some of the serenity I'd had for so long, the peace that came from the certainty that life is a circle, and I will go on in some way as an eternal part of that circle. While I'm not as depressed as I was this past winter, my equanimity has not returned.

I think part of the reason is that I've lost faith that the planet will survive what homo sapiens has done to it. While this planet started out as sand and water, we have turned it into a mass grave for thousands of species, all because of our lust for power, ease, and consumable goods. The superior species, huh?

Well, this is hardly an uplifting post, but it is an honest one. If you have any words of wisdom for me, please feel free to comment.

May